I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself

The title is kind of referring to the song. It’s actually what I’m talking about but I remembered that song when I was thinking of a title cos I had it in the first guitar book I had which I accidentally broke the CD of by rolling my computer chair over it like 4 years ago. Interesting, I know.

I really hate school and I’ve sworn to myself that I am never to go back. This means that I will be attending BMC (Belfast Metropolitan College) in September even though I’ll be doing pretty much the same thing. I have no idea what I’ll do if I don’t get in. I hate school enough to not want to go back but at the same time it seems like the easiest option. I wouldn’t have to bother trying to make friends with people who have already been there a year and are already in groups and sit at certain tables. together. I wouldn’t have to think about what I’m going to wear everyday cos I just get the shitty school uniform. I wouldn’t have to worry about missing buses (not that that worries me) or having to wait another hour to wait toΒ  get home and I would not have to worry about the general social awkwardness that comes with going to a new place and meeting strangers. It’s hard because it would be ridiculously easier to go back to school because obviously all my friends will still be there but then again there are all the reasons I hate school and decided to leave in the first place.

I thought all this through yesterday as I genuinely thought about going back to school. It was a momentary relapse as I realised that three out of four of the subjects I have applied to do, I have already done one year of so I would be coming in with only one year left and I doubt there are many, if any, people who are doing the same thing as me so there will be no more new people in those classes. There is only one new class I have applied to start which should be okay because everyone is new there.

There is a night to go and meet everyone but it’s probably only a few days before term starts and I still don’t really know whats happening. Neither me nor Amanda (who is also going) have got letters back to say we’ve been accepted so everything is a bit tense.

The main problem I have is that they might say you can’t even just do the second year of courses in which case most other classes are probably full so what can I do?

I’ve also started thinking that maybe I should have decided to do an actual course instead of A-Levels just because I think it would be far more interesting and I might actually enjoy it then but seeing as I don’t know what I want to do at uni that could be very difficult and considering the kind of stuff that’s available in Belfast Met there isn’t a lot I’d want to do.

I don’t particularly want to go to university. I already hate school enough so university isn’t really a place I want to be either but I actually think its more about finding something you’re interested in. If I were doing a subject I actually wanted to study then I wouldn’t have to think twice about it. At the minute I’m actually between Egyptology and Parapsychology i.e. Ghosthunting but I actually can’t find any courses for it on UCAS. They all seem to be those online ones you pay for and do at your leisure which is even better cos then I could do both. I actually think paleontology would be amazing too but if I had to choose between it and Egyptology it would lose so I’m not going to mention it cos it’ll just give me another choice and it’ll be harder for me to choose even though I probably wouldn;’t choose it in the end.

I’m actually really interested in the paranormal. Not just spirits and so on but UFOs as well and I recently discovered the UFO Society of Ireland and the Northern Ireland Paranormal Research Association and I think it would be both fun and useful if I did an online degree or whatever and worked with them a bit on the side if possible.

I’m also trying to get my YouTube channel up and running. I can see myself doing daily vlogs in the future (I’d do them now if I thought they’d be interesting enough!) but I obviously need a big enough subscriber base first so I’m trying my best at filming and writing shows and watching them and deleting them cos they all turn out crap. Not really. My main problem is that I don’t have a good enough camera. I don’t even have a webcam or else I’d use that so as much as I’m trying to sort that out I don’t think there’s much I can do at present except save up.

One of the cast members in the Disney Store told me before that they are probably going to hire new cast members when they reopen on the 18th so I’m going to sit tomorrow and fix my CV so I’m overly prepared just in case. Otherwise, it needs done anyway so it’ll save me doing it at a later time when I don’t actually have time to do it.

Also, seeing as I only seem to be talking about jobs today, my dad asks me every summer if I want to go to work with him, He only needs me on Tuesdays and Thursdays and last Thursday I went for the first time this summer. Already, that’s really late so I was kinda annoyed that even if I went every Tuesday and thursday till the end of Summer, I wouldn’t get all that much money and I’m saving up for an iPhone. On Tuesday I had to go and get my 3rd cervical cancer injection so my mum said she would drop me off at my dads work after but then he said he’d phone when he was there cos he didn’t know how busy he was going to be. A few hours later he phoned to say he was too busy and for some reason he was going to pick me up at 10 today and now its 20 past 4. It’s actually extremely irritating. I was only going to earn money and now he won’t even take me even though I showered and got up early and everything. I’m still sitting here ready actually. the most annoying thing is that you don’t know if he’s going to appear or not so you can’t really sit doing anything or you’ll have to just get up and go. I actually turned my computer off this morning in case that was the case but I got the better of myself and turned it on again after a while which was obviously a good decision.

So yeah, basically I don’t have a job but I’d like one and I’m nervous about going to BMC. I’d like to go on ghost hunts sometime and actually I kinda wish I had done that this summer or had someone as interested in it as me that I could do it with. I still really want to work in Disneyland and I’m still concerned about Egyptology cos I think I’d been a PhD but I don’t think id have enough money to go to uni for 6 years.

I also feel as if this is one of the longest blog posts I’ve ever done but I’m not sure. If you want to help me with any of the above topics feel free to comment below =P


It’s My Half Birthday

I think I’m the only person who actually pays attention to this. I know that most people think that its really cool and then forget and miss it but I always remember. Not necessarily the day before or anything but just when I see the date on the 3rd August I know that its my half birthday.

Apologies for neglecting this blog btw. It’s 2:36 am and I really meant to make this a longer post but I’m tired and I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift for a ridiculous length of time now (LIKE TEN WHOLE MINUTES OMGNOWAI!)

I also should have done a blog every day in August but its the 3rd now and being Summer and all there isn’t much to talk about even though the reason I haven’t blogged is cos I’ve been busy. I’ll try and do a blog every day in September as I imagine/hope I will have a lot more to talk about then as I will be socialising with other humans then and not sending e-mails from the darkness of my room.

Epic Mickey Actually Looks Epic.

Epic Mickey is a forthcoming Wii game about Mickey Mouse. They’re rebranding Mickey to show his dark side. Well, his mischievous side and seeing as we’ve never really seen Mickey being anything other than downright lovely, this is gonna be wierd. It’s a good one for massive Disney fans as we get to see Oswald the Lucky Rabbit who now lives in the Cartoon Wasteland for cartoon characters who are forgotten about and he is jealous of Mickey which makes me sad.

If you don’t know who Oswald the Lucky Rabbit is, I shall be lovely and tell you. Oswald was the original Mickey Mouse in a sense. Way back in 1923, Walt and Roy Disney put their money together to set up their first cartoon studio in Hollywood. They made some shorts called the Alice Comedies about Alice from Alice in Wonderland who apparently got into all sorts of danger and whatnot. They finished in 1927 and then Walt created Oswald the Lucky Rabbit to be distributed by Universal. They rejected the first episode but then Walt fixed him up and Universal launched the entire series. As the cartoon was so popular, Walt asked for an increased budget but the producer at Universal instead demanded that Walt got a 20% budget cut and reminded him that he now owned the character and that most of Disney’s employees were now signed to his contract. Some remained loyal to Walt and Roy though and whilst creating the second series they decided to make their own cartoon with a slightly changed version of Oswald – Mickey Mouse. Universal continued to make Oswald cartoons rather unsuccessfully as the Mickey cartoons were now the competition and eventually they contacted Walt who gave his blessing for them to continue making them because his were so popular and 78 years later in 2006 Disney acquired the rights for Oswald again so now they’re puting his in this game. Okay, history lesson over.

So now it appears that Oswald is jealous of Mickey’s success. I’m not surprised to be honest. I would be too. There is also mention of Yen Sid who is the sorcerer from The Sorcerer’s Apprentice segment in Fantasia. It looks rather complicated but he seems to have made the wasteland for his forgotten creations and then Mickey spills stuff on it and wrecks it, making all of the residents including Oswald to fight and lose in a battle and makes the world much darker (which is the fun part). The Mad Doctor and Phantom Blot are the villans as far as I know and they are also both from the older cartoons so it seems that no new characters are introduced.

The game seems to be pretty steampunky which looks good. The fact that it’s only going to be on Wii sucks even though I have a Wii. Apparently Mickey is to be given a more “retro” look though which I like the sound of because I preferred him when he more cartoony than when he got all 3D and I guess with Oswald being there they need to look alike.

I am usually not as open about rebranding for original characters but I think this is a good idea because its original characters that we hardly see anymore and with Oswald, it brings in some history. And with the whole steampunky element it changes everything. I’m actually surprised Disney even allowed this but I do think it is much-needed as Mickey only seems to be on straight-to-DVD episodes for kids now and he obviously deserves more seeing as he’s pretty much the King of Disneyland.

I’ve put the concept art when you clicky on the linky =]

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Blog Twenty-Nine

Seriously bored as hell. Not just now but like all the time. I don’t know enough people or the people I want to spend time with are too busy/live too far away/don’t want to go out. It’s sucky. Honestly, why can’t all the people who look at me say “Hi”? Really. That would make me so much happier. Or why can’t the cool people who I get along with or the people who chat me up on Chatroulette/Omegle Video (the non perverted ones – yes such a thing exists) live closer/want to talk after our one conversation? Half the time they take my email address which, to me, makes me think that they’ll email me first because they actually ask for it but then I never get an e-mail and I never know what to say to them. The one guy who did add me on Facebook and seemed genuinely cool asked for my Facebook or whatever, then blocked me when I hadn’t done anything! GAH! People always talk about how they have friends online that they can’t wait to meet but I really have none. Study Leave is generally amazing cos it means no school buts it’s also overly lonely. just means a longer summer and summer usually means sitting in the same room for two months. This just makes it three. I’m hoping that moving school will help but it could swing the other way and make me feel even more lonely if I lose anyone. I honestly don’t mind being on my own. At all. But it’s nice to spend time with people too. It’s only worthwhile spending time with yourself if it’s in comparison to spending time with other people.

Okay, vent over. Wouldn’t it be cool to travel wherever you wanted to? Honestly, this is my new plan (There happen every few weeks. Tascha gets a really long YouTube message/Facebook message/e-mail and replies back with all the flaws XD). I mean, the only thing that would be a problem would be money. I mean, once I’m 18 I get the bank account my parents have for me which has like Β£10,000 in it. Say, I got a job for however long I can (if I can ever find one) and then I could go next September when everyone is going to uni XD. To be honest, for the plan to work the best, I would need a car…and a companion but whatever. Then I could get a boat to England and then drive to mainland Europe and visit so many places. Spend a month or two in each and get a job (even if it’s a shitty one) and then leave again to go somewhere new. Obviously this would work brilliantly well after working at Disneyland Paris as I’d probably meet people from different places then who would hopefully be willing to let me crash on their couch for a few days but as probably neither of these things will work out then nevermind. Honestly, imagine just getting up and doing whatever you wanted wherever you wanted. Any input? Nope, just me going mad again. Happy 4am everybody.

Blog Twenty-Eight

Found this recently: lamebook It’s basically a bunch of rather questionable pictures or statuses from Facebook. They’re mostly funny or ridiculous.

Joined Dailybooth in case you hadn’t noticed. Someone posted with “You don’t understand how much i screwd up :'(” and someone replied with “you even screwed up spelling screwed. wow.” haha.

I need a haircut. My fringe goes past my eyes. It tickles my nose! Genuinely felt that if my hair was black I would be channeling the spirit of Joey Ramone. Speaking of which, should I dye my hair? (Thats a yes). What colour? I’m edging towards pink. Don’t know why haha. I prob have to wait till after the exams though cos Miss McMullan seems to take a massive shit over these things even though I only have to go in 4 more times.

My mum just said “playbox” WTF?! Is this some wierd hybrid of a Playstation and an Xbox?! Seriously, she must be ill or something.

I Heart Pie Charts

They really make me lol.

My nanny once said “Is that Stephen?”

Then Glee messed it up which is a good thing to make a pie chart of. “Amount of songs I actually like the Glee cover of” 100% none.

So far today this is completely true but there’s nowhere else I need to go anyway.

True. Not that its really difficult to find porn. You just search “sex videos”…not that I would know. Nice that this person has made it the colour of the logo too.

I think I’m green although my mother did once drag me downstairs in the middle of the night to watch a Queen concert.

True. Although the whole ice caps melting thing really needs to be looked at.

These colous are horrible…does this go counter-clockwise?!

It’s On, Bitch

Someone undid my edit of Wikipedia! I watched the film Groundhog Day yesterday and decided to edit it’s wikipedia page to say that the song, Ticket Outta Loserville by Son of Dork mentions it. There’s already a whole section for when it’s mentioned in music so it’s hardly a big deal. I added the following sentence:

“In the 2005 song Ticket Outta Loserville by UK pop punk band Son of Dork, the film is mentioned in the opening lines, “When I go to sleep I pray/I’m waking up to ‘I Got You Babe’/Like the guy from Groundhog Day/Just wanna live forever this way…” ”

Honestly, is there anything wrong with it? There’s links and everything! But then today when I looked at it, my sentence was gone! Looking at the history of the page, someone with a very questionable name had removed it. I mean, sure it’s not really important but surely it’s part of the film’s legacy which is what the whole section is about? I don’t know. My friend Tascha, who I have noticed I mention often, said that there’s no point in undoing it unless I want to start a “big edit war/dispute”. Honestly, who can be bothered? Well, I am educating people and I think that freedom of speech (shut up, i know this isn’t right) allows me to do so. I’m not vandalising but adding to the article. And Son Of Dork are cool. Shut up.

So, I undid what the other person did so my sentence is back and it’s there to stay. Honestly, it’s on, bitch.